https://drewtarvin.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/best-tweets-2011.png 360 1024 drew tarvin https://drewtarvin.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/andrewtarvin-header.png drew tarvin2011-12-31 17:15:152016-01-10 18:54:56My Best Tweets of 2011
I finished the year with 1,549 tweets all time, with around 300 tweets coming this year. Of those 300-ish tweets, here are my favorites from 2011.
- Cereal for dinner? Life is good.
- A guy asked me if I wanted some free fish. I asked, “What’s the catch?”
- If you’re having router problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one.
- I want to open a pizza place called “Evil.” On the pizza box it would say “Delivered us from Evil.”
- Mirror mirror, on the wall. Dresser dresser, on the floor. Light light, on the ceiling. Room room, checklist complete.
- How do you congratulate the guy who operates the ball on New Year’s Eve? “Way to drop the ball there, Gary.”
- I think I would drink more smoothies if they were called fruitshakes.
- The biggest failure of the English language is that the word “palindrome” isn’t one. I propose changing it to “palinilap.”
- Don’t get me wrong, I love football, but it’d be more exciting if the team names were literal. I’d watch giants play against cowboys.
- When something is due by COB (“Close of Business”), I think we all agree it really means SONWD (“Start of Next Work Day”).
- Got a massage at work today. Masseuse said it’s appropriate my name is Drew because I’m more than tense, I’m past tense.
- The Reds won today! Non-sports fans: do not panic, this has nothing to do with Communism in America.
- Today is Saturday, so I went for a jog, Da Drew Run Run Run, Da Drew Run Run.
- Taught improv to a college class today. I think that moves me from amateur fessor to professor.
- Thanks to being sore from rock climbing, 2 of my co-workers now think I’m weird because they found me stretching in a huddle room.