I made the decision not to drink alcohol at an early age and as a result, have remained sober for all 25 years of my life. But as I get older, as my views change, as I redefine myself–the question becomes: to drink or not to drink?
Naturally the decision isn’t cut and dried for me. On the one hand, I haven’t been a drinker thus far in my life, so why start now. On the other hand, there are a number of health and social benefits to having a beer or glass of wine every now and then. I’ve listened to a number of views on both sides of the fence on the topic, but ultimately it’s me, the one sitting on the fence that must decide. So, in attempt to decide once and for all (or at least once and for awhile), I’ve decided to debate myself in a showdown of the case for sobriety versus the case for alcohol.
My Background
With each passing year, I get more and more bewilderment and wonder from other people as to why I don’t drink. In high school I was a goody two-shoes because people assumed I didn’t drink because it was illegal. In college it was because I was “straight-edge” or some kind of religious nut. Post-college it’s because I used to have a drinking problem and am now a recovering alcoholic. None of those reasons are accurate.
My decision to not drink started with bad experiences with alcohol, or specifically, alcoholism. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I realized someone very close to me had been drunk for most of the moments I remembered with him.
I still remember the day that it sunk in–the realization was a blow to just about everything I knew about the person. Incidents that I once thought were attributed to accidents or simply forgetting were now finally linked to their true cause–alcoholism.
On that day I vowed that I would never allow myself to succumb to the disease, and the easiest way to do that was to not drink.
Throughout high school I went to plenty of parties where people were drinking. When asked if I wanted a beer, I declined. Every now and then people would want to know why, but my friends respected my decision and left it at that.
Over time I realized that not all people who drink do it the point that it interferes with their lives–although far more people could gain from cutting back than realize. Just because someone drank didn’t make them an alcoholic.
By the time I went to college I no longer believed that alcohol was the cause of all problems. I learned that alcohol was just a way some people compensated for a weakness or insecurity with themselves. While some people drank because they didn’t know how else to have fun or to drown out their feelings, others would do it merely to relax or to spend some time with a friend. There was nothing inherently wrong with alcohol itself–alcohol could be fine in moderation so long as the people choosing to consume it were behaving responsibly.
But by that time, I had found a new reason not to drink–I didn’t need to. I had learned that I didn’t need alcohol to have fun. While other people got drunk, I could have just as much fun being sober. And call it hubris, cockiness, or simply confidence, I also knew I didn’t need alcohol to get the supposed benefits alcohol provided, such as improved confidence or a relaxed state of mind; I had all of that on my own.
It wasn’t until I graduated from college that I started reconsidering my decision. Not really because it bothers me to answer the question “why don’t you drink?” (though I have to admit it can get old answering the same question fifteen times at a party), but because I’m wondering if it’s part of the next evolution of Drew, part of Redefine 2009.
The Case for Sobriety
1. I’ve Made It This Far
As I mentioned above, I’ve made it to age 25 without drinking and I think I’ve done alright. I live in NYC, have a career I enjoy, a hobby that I love, and great friends and family. As they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
2. Society Be Damned
One of the pressures to drinking is that by being an abstainer, I’m immediately cast as different. Most people say they have no issue with my choice, but I do know it changes how I’m perceived. But what should I care that “society” says I’m the weird one? “Society” used to encourage smoking, but that didn’t make it right.
3. Avoiding Temptation
Part of me, and a larger part than I’ll actually admit, worries that by starting to drink, I could open up the possibility of alcoholism. I’m an ambitious person, I don’t have time for anything that could potentially cripple my goals or drive. And while I’m confident of my own discipline and willpower, I am fighting genetics and a fondness for alcohol from both sides of the extended family.
4. Saving Money
Lets face it, alcohol is expensive. I don’t know how much money I’ve saved since I stopped drinking soda and have never purchased alcohol. For me, I can have a great time out at a bar without spending a single dime.
5. I’m Never Wrong
I often half-jokingly say that I’m never wrong, so by changing my stance now I run the risk of negating my prior beliefs and people thinking I’m a hypocrite. Though to be fair, I’ve never verbally chastised someone for drinking unless it was illegal or against a contract they signed stating they would not.
6. Seneca
“Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness” – Seneca
The Case for Alcohol
1. Redefine 2009
My whole goal for 2009, the year I turn 25, is to reinvent myself into the older, more mature Drew. This comes in many forms including my physical appearance, how my apartment looks, and my diet. There’s something seemingly mature about two friends being able to share a gin and tonic after a long day at work, or a beer during a football game.
2. Society Be Damned
As I get further into the corporate and comedy worlds, I’m experiencing more and more frequent “lets grab a drink and do some bonding” (though rarely do they say that last part). By not drinking, I immediately place myself as an outsider in those situations due to societal expectations. And when you’re trying to build a group-mind in an improv group, build a relationship at work, or make a pitch as an entrepreneur, being an outsider isn’t a good thing.
3. Health Benefits
If there were no health benefits associated to the occasional drink, I wouldn’t even consider it. But as I grow older, I’m trying to be more conscious of my health and diet (thus the resolution to eat more fruits and vegetables). And with study after study after study proving the benefits of the occasional beer or wine, it’s hard to deny that it would be a healthy decision (in moderation).
4. Culinary Enhancement
I’ve already mentioned a few times my push for dietary changes in 2009, but one part of that is to graduate my tastebuds to a more mature level. While I think I’ll always love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it would also be nice to be able to enjoy a fine piece of salmon. A number of cooking experts (friends and professionals alike) have said that the right wine or beer can completely change the enjoyment of a meal.
5. Opinions Change
One of my cons to drinking is that I would potentially negate former Drew, but that’s not really the case. Up to this point in my life, I know that without a doubt, the decision for me to not drink has been the right one. But the key is “up to this point.” I’m a very different person than I was in high school, when I first made the decision, and in college, when I stuck my guns. But what was best for me then isn’t necessarily what’s best for me now that I’m all growed up.
6. Benjamin Franklin
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
Final Arguments
The decision is by no means easy. I’ve been sober for 25 years, is it really worth moving on from that? Or is it a change that can help me grow? There are a number of health benefits to drinking, but there are also health benefits to eating spinach and I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon. I’ve always been an individual, but where’s the line between individual and outcast?
The question comes down to this: is drinking alcohol part of my new life, the 25-year old, redefined, Drew 2.0? And the answer is…
The Decision
Yes and no. Of course a decision like this on a topic like this doesn’t come with a straight answer. I say yes because it’s possible I’ll drink alcohol in the future, but I say no because I’m not going to “start drinking.”
Many people drink to get drunk. I won’t. My decision is to merely remove the ban on alcoholic drinks from my selection of beverages. Just like water, Gatorade, or lemonade, wine, beer, or spirits are now an option for me to choose. Does that mean I ever will? Not necessarily. I’ve always had the option to drink Ginger Ale, but I never pick it.
So what does that really mean? The occasion will dictate the decision. If I’m in a situation where I feel like trying a glass of red wine, or a gin and tonic, I will. If not, I won’t. Who determines the decision? Me, of course.
The only rule I will add is that it will always be a 1-drink maximum. Why? Well I rarely have seconds of any beverage, besides water, in any given sitting, with perhaps the exception of Gatorade. And on top of that, I am a skinny guy that’s never built up a tolerance before, and I’m not planning on getting drunk.
It was a difficult decision to come to, and would’ve been regardless of which way I chose, but it’s one I’m confident is the right direction for me. After all, it is Redefine 2009.
