Why I don’t do so well in the bar scene.

You should never date a(n) …

  • Optometrist because you’ll never see eye to eye.
  • Historian because she records everything you do.
  • Proctologist because she’ll be a pain in the butt.

Instead, you should date a(n)

  • Police officer because she has her own handcuffs.
  • Stock trader because shes used to the ups and downs.
  • Construction woman because she knows how to screw.