2018 marked my 10th year on Twitter. Like previous years, I decided to take a look back at my best tweets from the year, spanning 882 tweets, 730,000+ impressions, 2,772 likes, and 473 retweets. Here are the top tweets of 2018:
1. Engineering Emotion
Emotions are just data. Which I've learned is the wrong thing to say when someone is crying.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) August 27, 2018
2. Home Ownership
Do you have proof you own this house? In deed.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) January 29, 2018
3. Good Boy Therapist
I've been seeing a therapy dog. He's very supportive but won't let me sit on the couch.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) May 15, 2018
4. Tic Tac Toe
I appreciate that you still love me even though I'm obsessed with tic-tac-toe.
Sincerely, Drew. XOXO
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) January 30, 2018
5. Early Riser
I wake up around 6am Pacific Time every day. Granted, I live in NYC. #TuesdayThoughts
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) October 23, 2018
6. Forecasting an ‘A’
Grading in meteorology school must be pretty lax.
Teacher: "You got all of these answers wrong."
Meteorology Student: "True, but I could get them all right tomorrow!"
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 7, 2018
7. Moving Forward
You can't get too caught up on the past. After all, the only time you can move forward while facing backwards is on a train. Or in a canoe. Or while roller blading or ice skating. Or moonwalking. Listen, the point is focus on the future.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) October 17, 2018
8. Real-life Jerry Maguire
A: You complete…
A: …most of my sentences and it's kind of annoying.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 12, 2018
9. Time Flies
I lost a quarter once. I don't mean the coin, I mean three months. Where did the time go?
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 14, 2018
10. Self-Employed Problems
Co-working spaces: for when you work for yourself but you miss having coworkers to complain about.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 6, 2018
11. Tag Team Back Again
A: Help! I can't stop quoting 90's pop songs.
B: What do you mean?
B: Oh, there it is.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) February 16, 2018
12. Calendar Humor
The US date format of Month / Day / Year is as easy as 2, 1, 3. #ThursdayThought
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) December 13, 2018
13. Breakfast Rebel
I eat my cereal at the end of the kitchen counter because I like to experience Life on the edge.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) July 22, 2018
14. Fast Talker
Maybe I don't have a higher pitched voice, maybe I just speak at 1.5x speed.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 1, 2018
15. Living My Best Life
Whenever I order a drink at Starbucks, I give them one of the nicknames I always wished people would call me. "Vente green tea for Drudacris the Wise."
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) July 24, 2018
16. Job Descriptions
"For the last time, please stop telling people that I 'work the pole' for a living. I'm a firefighter."
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) April 27, 2018
17. Nervous Energy
I was in a contest to see who had the fastest pulse. Boy was my heart racing.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) February 8, 2018
18. A Relaxed Diet
I am an adventurous eater. Just yesterday I tried octopus while hang gliding.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 24, 2018
19. Turn Down That Opportunity
When one door closes another one opens, which is probably why there's always a draft in here.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 23, 2018
20. Career Goals
Helicopter blades are just ceiling fans with cooler jobs.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) April 8, 2018
21. Touch and Go
I had an epiphany that maybe genies live in more than just lamps but we just never rubbed enough things to find them so, long story short, I'm not allowed back at the Brooklyn Museum.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) March 31, 2018
22. Just a Yolk
How bad were people messing up breakfast that we created the phrase "Egg on my face?"
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) April 22, 2018
23. Awkward Goodbye
I had coffee with a new acquaintance. At the end, I went for a handshake and he went for a hug and after the initial awkwardness, it was nice to know that now I can never see that person again.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) April 6, 2018
24. Musical Team Building
Crowd surfing is just rock stars doing a trust fall.
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) April 23, 2018
25. Alexa is Too Real
Pretty soon computers are going to be so human, I'm going to be socially awkward around them. https://t.co/oeCRK2zSC8
— drewtarvin (@drewtarvin) May 26, 2018