Crackberry

INT. OFFICE – EVENING

THOMAS is sitting at his cubicle at work.  His computer is on with a Blackberry Screen Saver.  Thomas is intently typing away on his Blackberry, ignoring the computer in front of him.

A new text message comes in from someone labelled WIFE.  The message reads “When will you be home?”

Thomas sighs and types back “I still have stuff to do.”  A message comes back from Wife, “Ur new BB came today.”  Thomas’ expression changes, he types back “Be home in 10.”

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY – EVENING

Thomas walks towards his apartment door, still engaged with his Blackberry.  He gets to the door and opens it.

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING

Thomas walks in the door with a smile on his face and an excitement he can’t contain.  He looks up to see his wife, LAURA, waiting for him in the living room.  Behind her are Thomas’ brother DAVE and friend BEN.
Thomas is surprised to see them all there.

THOMAS
Oh…hey guys.  What are you all doing here?
(to his wife)
Where’s the Blackberry?

Thomas returns to his Blackberry.  Laura, Dave and Ben all look at each other.  Laura steps closer to Thomas, nervous.

LAURA
Honey, your Blackberry didn’t come today.  This is…This is an intervention.

Thomas looks up from his screen.

THOMAS
What?  You mean it didn’t come today?

LAURA
Did you even hear what I said?  This is an intervention.  We think things have gotten out of control.

THOMAS
Yes I heard you, you said it didn’t come today.  And it is out of control, you lied to me.

Thomas returns to his Blackberry.  Dave gets up from his seat and walks up to Thomas.

DAVE
Thomas, you aren’t listening.  This is an intervention.  You’re addicted to that, that, that thing!

Dave points to Thomas’ Blackberry.

THOMAS
What thing? What are you talking about?

LAURA
You’re addicted to your Blackberry, Thomas.  You never put it away.

Thomas looks at his wife and brother, then back at his Blackberry, then back at his wife and brother.

THOMAS
What? No? I just use this to get stuff done.  Addicted, ha, that’s a good one.

LAURA
Honey, we’re serious.  Here, come have a seat.

Laura guides Thomas to a seat they’ve set out for him facing the couch.  Laura, Dave and Ben sit on the couch with Thomas sitting in front of them.

LAURA (CONT’D)
Let’s put the Blackberry down for a second so we can talk.

Thomas glares at Laura.

LAURA (CONT’D)
Ok, ok, fine.

BEN
Listen Thomas, we are serious.  This is an intervention, we think you have a problem.  Ever since you got that thing we don’t hang out anymore, you insist we talk on the phone instead.  We’re best friends, we live in the same apartment building, it’s weird to talk on the phone, we should be hanging out watching the game or having a brew.

As Ben is talking, Thomas dials a few numbers and then puts the phone to his ear.  Ben’s phone starts to ring.

BEN (CONT’D)
Who are you… Are you calling me?  I’m right here, we’re already talking.  Why would you be calling me?

Thomas speaks into the phone.

THOMAS
Sorry I can’t talk right now, Ben, I’m in the middle of something, I’ll call you later.

Thomas puts the phone down.

DAVE
It’s not just with Ben, Thomas.  You and I haven’t spoken in weeks.  You just keep sending me emails, and they all say “Sent via Blackberry” at the bottom.

Thomas is defensive.

THOMAS
Email is a perfectly suitable way to communicate Dave, welcome to the 21st century.

DAVE
Not when you’re finding out your mother has breast cancer, Thomas!

Thomas is typing something on his Blackberry but looking intently at Dave.  We see the message, “Mom died”

DAVE (CONT’D)
Are you typing right now?  You son of bitch you better not be emailing me something.

Dave stands up and yanks the phone away from him.  Thomas is pissed.  Laura tries to calm him down and keep him seated.

LAURA
Honey, you have a problem.  You’re addicted and we want to help you.  I want you to stop sending me text moans when we’re making love.

Thomas’ thumbs are moving as if were typing on an imaginary Blackberry.

BEN
Oh my God, look.  He can’t stop moving his fingers even when he doesn’t have the phone.

LAURA
Can’t you see Thomas, you’re on the Blackberry constantly.  Can’t you see what this is costing you?

Thomas pauses for a second and thinks deeply.

CUT TO:

MONTAGE

We see a montage of Thomas’ day, his Blackberry in hand the entire way: When he wakes up, in the shower, eating breakfast, on the subway, in front of his computer, at a urinal, in a meeting, on the subway, in the elevator, in the intervention.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING

Thomas has a look of realization on his face.

THOMAS
Oh wow, you guys are right.  I’ve been on this thing all day.  I’m going to need a better data plan.

BLACKOUT

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drew tarvin

Andrew Tarvin is the world’s first Humor Engineer teaching people how to get better results while having more fun. He has worked with thousands of people at 250+ organizations, including P&G, GE, and Microsoft. He is a best-selling author, has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and TEDx, and has delivered programs in 50 states, 20+ countries, and 6 continents. He loves the color orange and is obsessed with chocolate.

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