To celebrate my new book, The United States of Laughter, I decided to do a literal book launch. We attached my book to a pumpkin and then shot it out of a catapult. Shout out to Team ETHOS for helping me with the launch!

Buy the book on Amazon in Print, Kindle, or Audiobook!

You should never date a(n) …

  • Optometrist because you’ll never see eye to eye.
  • Historian because she records everything you do.
  • Proctologist because she’ll be a pain in the butt.

Instead, you should date a(n)

  • Police officer because she has her own handcuffs.
  • Stock trader because shes used to the ups and downs.
  • Construction woman because she knows how to screw.

In honor of the late King of Pop, I thought I’d rehash a bit I worked on 2 years ago.  This one is a little more positive and taken from, in order, from his Number Ones album.  You can find the original bit at King of Pop Dreams.

Michael Jackson said “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough,” but I could never get enough of hearing Michael Jackson songs, so I guess I never stopped.  I mean he could rock with anyone–he could Rock With You, he could rock with me, anybody.  And whether I wore Billie‘s Jeans, Tommy’s shirt, or my own clothes, there was nothing better than wearing a single glove and attempting the moonwalk–you just couldn’t Beat It. With more screams than a Thriller movie, and more unintelligble words than a baby’s conversation, MJ had a way of making everything work.

It’s hard to imagine a world without Michael Jackson.  In fact I can’t, I Just Can’t.  Stop Loving You and your music because you’re gone?  It’s not going to happen, even if you want us to, too Bad.  Even if I had to pirate all of your music and shave my entire body, I’d become a Smooth Criminal because of your music and The Way You Make Me Feel.

When I look at the Man in the Mirror and listen to your music, I realize I’m not Dirty, Diana‘s not Black or White, and You Are Not Alone–we’re all on this planet together,  singing one Earth Song in unison.  Like a meteor heading for this planet, You Rock My World with great music, from the start of dusk to the Break of Dawn.  And if you just had One More Chance, to go on tour and amaze audiences once more, who knows what might have Ben.