10 Things That Should Be True But Aren’t

10 things that should be true, but aren’t:

  1. Soccer should be called football.  (American) football should be called soccer.
  2. Monday should be considered the first day of the week.  Sunday is part of the weekend, so it should be the end of the week.
  3. The world should be on one system of measure.  I don’t care if it’s metric or whatever it is we in the US call it, but, like Highlander, there should only be one.
  4. The English alphabet should only have 25 letters–get rid of the ‘Q.’  It is a worthless, copycat of a letter that can’t even be by itself most of the time.
  5. There should be a Chick Fil-A in Manhattan.  It should be open on Sundays and in close proximity to my apartment.
  6. The word palindrome should be a palindrome.  It’s confusing that it is not.
  7. Slow traffic should always keep to the right, no matter the form of transportation.  If you’re going to stand on the escalator, do it to the right side.
  8. Chicken should have the same health benefits as vegetables and be consumed as often as grains.
  9. “Shoulder” should be pronounced “shood-er” or “should” should be pronounced “shooled”.
  10. Puns should be heralded as one of the greatest forms of comedy.

Oh, and I guess there should be things like world peace and no starving children.  I also realize that #1-3 could be solved by moving to a different country, but I shouldn’t have to do that.

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drew tarvin

Andrew Tarvin is the world’s first Humor Engineer teaching people how to get better results while having more fun. He has worked with thousands of people at 250+ organizations, including P&G, GE, and Microsoft. He is a best-selling author, has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and TEDx, and has delivered programs in 50 states, 20+ countries, and 6 continents. He loves the color orange and is obsessed with chocolate.

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