My Best Tweets of 2009

Though I no longer posted a joke every day in 2009, I did start to use Twitter more.  Some of the tweets were informational (like every time I was at Shake Shack), and some were just observations or thoughts that I had.

Below are my best tweets of 2009.  You’ll notice that I started having better tweets later in the year when I finally started using Twitter for more than just status updates.

My Best Tweets of 2009

subway tip #241 – even if someones ipod is loud enough for everyone to hear, it is not a radio and you should not make requests 8:39 AM Jan 15th, 2009

if a tree falls in the woods, and theres no one around, do the other trees make fun of it? 9:12 AM Mar 5th, 2009

just had an ekg, yeah you know me 11:57 AM Apr 1st, 2009

24 and halo. its like i never left college 11:58 PM Apr 20th, 2009

i wonder how mlk jr got to dreaming about civil rights, my dreams are always about work or showing up somewhere naked 7:53 AM Sep 17th, 2009

people who say “someone has a case of the mondays” give me a “case of the mondays.” 11:49 AM Sep 21st, 2009

and with the coats come the uggs. ugh 8:52 AM Sep 29th, 2009

saw a commercial for product that grows your eyelashes. seriously? eye lashes do not need viagra 8:36 AM Oct 2nd, 2009

anyone know any midgets? I want to befriend one to get over my fear. does that make me a bad person? 2:54 PM Oct 4th, 2009

if someone is appointed to a position, and then removed from power, are they disappointed? 6:35 PM Oct 7th, 2009

Gave a homeless man a pack of Disney Princess fruit snacks on the subway; now we both have a story to tell our friends. 3:47 PM Oct 12th, 2009

the band earth wind and fire was two elements away from being able to call captain planet. 2:31 PM Oct 20th, 2009

i always forget my umbrella. i blame resident evil. 8:31 PM Oct 24th, 2009

not a fan of tights under shorts. just wear pants. 11:59 PM Nov 6th, 2009

advantage to working from home: pizza rolls for lunch. i am half man, half child. 1:39 PM Nov 9th, 2009

primordial dwarf just gave me attitude for telling him the elevator was going down. wanted to say “dont get short w/ me” but didnt 4:50 PM Nov 28th, 2009

november only has 30 days in it. i know this because of my knuckles. 1:26 PM Nov 30th, 2009

i just took a step and realized i missed biggie. i guess diddy and faith evans were right. 2:31 PM Dec 3rd, 2009

i wonder if animals wonder what its like to be human like i wonder what its like to be an animal. i wonder if stevie wonders this too. 10:28 AM Dec 6th, 2009

great start to humpday / pants and shoes soaked from the rain / should have worked from home #haiku 9:27 AM Dec 9th, 2009

forgot how big things are in the midwest. the stores, the portions, the people… 11:08 AM Dec 23rd, 2009

so now the question is, what do you do on Christmas Adam? 2:26 PM Dec 26th, 2009

just tried alligator. if youre wondering, i did say “see you later…” before eating it. 12:02 AM Dec 31st, 2009

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drew tarvin

Andrew Tarvin is the world’s first Humor Engineer teaching people how to get better results while having more fun. He has worked with thousands of people at 250+ organizations, including P&G, GE, and Microsoft. He is a best-selling author, has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and TEDx, and has delivered programs in 50 states, 20+ countries, and 6 continents. He loves the color orange and is obsessed with chocolate.

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