best tweets 2010

I tweeted a lot in 2010 (roughly 570 times).  There were a lot of bad ones.  Luckily there were also some I really enjoyed.  Repeated here for your groaning pleasure are my “best” tweets of 2010:

Best Jokes

  1. My tailor asked if I needed help trying on a tux. I said “No.” He said “fine, suit yourself.”
  2. Who’s #1? According to roman numerals it is I.
  3. Hey remember that time we ate those cute pistachios? That was pretty nuts.
  4. Just landed in Cincinnati and my ears won’t soda… wait, I’m Cincy again, I can say pop.
  5. If I dated a cosmetologist, I’d fight with her just to say “I’m sorry, lets make up.” Then she’d laugh and laugh and all would be well.

Best Observations

  1. Best part about revolving doors? If u go into the wrong building u dont have to make an awkward U turn. Just keep walking til you’re out.
  2. “Uniform” should never be singular. Unless there’s at least 2, it’s just “crazy outfit.”
  3. I like how the word “subtle” has a ‘b’ in it. It’s there, but it’s subtle.
    I like that when the word camouflage is said verbally, the ‘u’ is camouflaged with the ‘o’. Well done English.
  4. I propose a new rule: meetings can’t last longer than my laptop battery. Or my bladder.
  5. I sometimes intentionally hold the door for someone who is a tad too far away just to see them hustle to appreciate my courteous act…

Best Stories

  1. I was running late today so I made a sandwich on the subway. Not just ate… made.
  2. in a presentation this morning an IM notification popped up on the presenters computer. the friends screenname? bearcuddlers. awesome.
  3. JFK to LHR to GTW to GVA to CDG to EDI to LHR to JFK. happy to be back in the NYC.
    LGA to CVG to CMH to LAS to LAX to JFK.
  4. Sang a song tonight as a pregnant woman. my fetus and I did a duet.
  5. Fun last class show, and thoroughly enjoyed the entire 12 weeks. I’ll remember the wall and those bunnies for a long time.

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